The key is love. And laughter…
Weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat: Describe how your relationship with your spouse is different than the relationship your parents had while you were growing up.
Okay – so let’s be honest here: I don’t have a spouse. Not even a fiancé. In fact, at this particular point in time, I don’t even have a boyfriend. Or a random guy to go on dates with. I do, however, have a notion of what I’m looking for. And for once in my life, I’m not budging on that. I’m not going to settle for someone to fill the moment.
My parents divorced when I was really young, so I can’t really draw much from that relationship other than the knowledge that even when things go horribly wrong, there is someone else out there that will make you happy. I’m not saying I’m an advocate for divorce – trust me, I’m not. But it’s taught me that I want to be as sure as I can possibly be about a relationship before I take the dive into married life.
And it’s given me the opportunity to learn from two very distinct relationships.
My dad and stepmom got married when I was six, and over the last 19 years they’ve experienced their share of tribulations – to put it mildly. But despite the hardships (or maybe because of them), I’ve seen them come together and become closer than ever. They’ve taught me the power of forgiveness and the importance of putting your faith in God.
My mom and stepdad got married when I was seven, and from their relationship I’ve learned it’s important to let go of the little things and support each other above all else. I’ve learned that you don’t have to be perfect to be perfect for each other. And that a little head rub goes a long way.
And from both marriages, I’ve learned that laughing together is vital – especially when it would be easier to cry.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to put all of this knowledge to practical use. But it will have to be with a guy who loves me enough to put up with my crazy moments and respects me for who I am. I won’t settle for anything less.
And when that day comes, I hope I can have a happy, fulfilling, give-and-take kind of relationship with someone who can make me laugh, but isn’t scared to see me cry. Because I’ve learned that there’s no sugar-coating it – a relationship, especially a marriage, can be hard. But in the end, it’s about making a commitment to stand by someone through whatever is thrown your way. It’s about compromise. And it’s about not giving up.